Think Before You Speak - Weight

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Now as a child, growing up, I was always taught to think before I speak. Now this may seem like an obvious thing to be taught, along with 'If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all' I mean these are things I'm currently teaching my 7 year old brother, but now at the age of 20 (very nearly 21) I am finding more and more adults that in fact don't think before they speak and they say things even when they have nothing nice to say.

This may seem like a strange topic for a blog post so far but the thing that forces me to write this is that numerous times (uncountable in fact) this week I have had things said to me that have made me feel down right upset and in all honest truth, I don't think they were once meant as an insult. Just someone merely not thinking before they spoke.

Now the thing that has been getting me down so much is comments on my weight/body shape/figure. I've had weight problems before - I've been very poorly. However, these days, it's just how I am. I'm slim built, I struggle to gain weight, I have my reasons but these days my reasons are beyond my control. I have a high metabolism, I suffer from IBS and anxiety and I'm tall. What can I do?

However, although I accept these things, this doesn't mean I enjoy it nor that it needs to be commented on. In the past week alone I have received comments from friends/family/strangers such as...

Like I said before, I don't in any way think that any (or the majority) of these things deep down were said in malice but they were all taken just as hard as in insult. My problem with this is that all of these things are always said in a specific tone. That kind of judge-y, disgusted type tone. Where they're saying one thing but thinking another. Things like 'you're ever so slim' from the concerned looking elderly lady or the 'girls are nicer with a bit of meat on them' from the young guy are both said equally in an attempt to, I don't know, make me think twice about my 'habits' and perhaps help me in some way? Like they're genuinely concerned for my health. However, they just leave me feeling the opposite - I don't feel like they're trying to help me and reassure me I actually feel (if I think about it too much, which I always do) that they're trying to say I look disgusting and need some help.

So this is a bit of a ramble-y post but I just wanted to stress that although fat shaming is bad, so is skinny shaming. Weight/size needn't be commented on unless you are a trained GP. People need to accept that everyone is different and that people have their own hang ups without you commenting on their appearance. Some people are slimmer and some are larger - that's just how it goes.

 Lastly, think before you speak. Is what you're about to say actually a compliment and/or does it really need to be shared? To you it may seem like harmless chatter but to the person you're saying it to, it could literally make or break their week.


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