Wednesday, 18 November 2015

Think Before You Speak - Weight

Now as a child, growing up, I was always taught to think before I speak. Now this may seem like an obvious thing to be taught, along with 'If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all' I mean these are things I'm currently teaching my 7 year old brother, but now at the age of 20 (very nearly 21) I am finding more and more adults that in fact don't think before they speak and they say things even when they have nothing nice to say.

This may seem like a strange topic for a blog post so far but the thing that forces me to write this is that numerous times (uncountable in fact) this week I have had things said to me that have made me feel down right upset and in all honest truth, I don't think they were once meant as an insult. Just someone merely not thinking before they spoke.


Now the thing that has been getting me down so much is comments on my weight/body shape/figure. I've had weight problems before - I've been very poorly. However, these days, it's just how I am. I'm slim built, I struggle to gain weight, I have my reasons but these days my reasons are beyond my control. I have a high metabolism, I suffer from IBS and anxiety and I'm tall. What can I do?

However, although I accept these things, this doesn't mean I enjoy it nor that it needs to be commented on. In the past week alone I have received comments from friends/family/strangers such as...


Like I said before, I don't in any way think that any (or the majority) of these things deep down were said in malice but they were all taken just as hard as in insult. My problem with this is that all of these things are always said in a specific tone. That kind of judge-y, disgusted type tone. Where they're saying one thing but thinking another. Things like 'you're ever so slim' from the concerned looking elderly lady or the 'girls are nicer with a bit of meat on them' from the young guy are both said equally in an attempt to, I don't know, make me think twice about my 'habits' and perhaps help me in some way? Like they're genuinely concerned for my health. However, they just leave me feeling the opposite - I don't feel like they're trying to help me and reassure me I actually feel (if I think about it too much, which I always do) that they're trying to say I look disgusting and need some help.

So this is a bit of a ramble-y post but I just wanted to stress that although fat shaming is bad, so is skinny shaming. Weight/size needn't be commented on unless you are a trained GP. People need to accept that everyone is different and that people have their own hang ups without you commenting on their appearance. Some people are slimmer and some are larger - that's just how it goes.

 Lastly, think before you speak. Is what you're about to say actually a compliment and/or does it really need to be shared? To you it may seem like harmless chatter but to the person you're saying it to, it could literally make or break their week.
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6 comments

  1. This is such a good blog post! Weight/body image is, unfortunately, such a big issue for many people of all shapes and sizes. Like you said, people need to accept that not everyone is the same and they need to respect that peoples bodies are their own and not an object to be judged and commented on.
    Unlike you, I have not had comments specifically said to me about my body. However, on the note of people thinking before they speak, many general comments have been said around me or in a conversation with me that have made me feel really down and awful about my body. One of my old friends from high school was having a conversation with my about healthy weight ranges. She mentioned a weight on the larger end of our healthy weight range for our height (we were similar heights) and stated ' Do you know how fat I would be if I weighed that much! How is that even in the healthy range!' Now I was really close to weighing this weight that she mentioned, I didn't feel unhealthy, I didn't look fat but that comment really upset me because now I believed that I was fat and I was unhealthy. To her it was a passing comment, but to me it was really insensitive and hurtful. Now obviously she didn't know I weighed that much and didn't think I did because I didn't fit the image she had of what that weight would look like.
    So really taking the time to think about what you are saying and who you could potential be effecting before you say it is really important, especially on a subject so sensitive and in which a lot of people have issues with.
    Again, a really great blog post and such an important issue to talk about. xx

    Jamie

    http://lovejayx.blogspot.co.nz/

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment! I'm glad you enjoyed the post and I'm sorry to hear you've had similar happen to you! I would hate to think I had ever said something to someone meaning it in a harmless way and it have upset them - I really hope I haven't!
      I agree it's important to talk about and hopefully the more that is said about it will trigger people to think a bit more!
      Thank you again for your lovely comment! It really means a lot xx

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  2. Really great post!! I totally understand your point, I've been told my whole life that I 'don't eat enough' etc and its so rude to comment on someones weight like that XX

    The Fashion Road

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    1. Thank you Louise! It's awful isn't it :( I'm sorry to hear you've experienced the same! Thank you again for commenting xx

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  3. Replies
    1. Thank you! I'm really glad you like it x

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