Saturday, 13 February 2016

21 Things I Have Learned By 21

So today is my birthday and I can't actually believe I'm 21. It's weird. (Although I did write this post in advance and schedule it so at the moment I'm technically not 21 just yet). Anyway, I thought seen as 21 is seen as a big birthday and the start of your life as a real adult, I thought what better time to reflect on what I've learnt in my life up to now.


- Just Ask
This may seem like an obvious one but it really is important. Whether it's in a job, at a store or with friends and family. If something is playing on your mind and/or if you need help - just ask! It is much better to ask and get the right information than doing something wrong or suffering in silence.

- If Someone Wants To Leave, Let Them
It can be hard but no matter how much you love someone - whether it be a friend or a partner - if they want to walk out of your life you have to let them. Do you really want someone in your life who doesn't want to be there?

- Rid Yourself of Toxic People
You do not need someone in your life that brings you down or causes you stress. Get rid of the toxic people in your life and it is bound to start looking up.

- Social Media Is Not The One
The things people post on their social media isn't always an exact representation of their life. The one photo/status/message is just a small fraction of their life and if you thing about it no one is going to post about all the bad things are they? (Well most people anyway)

- You Are Not An Exception
Look at this which ever way you wish. 'A leopard never changes it's spots'. 'Once a cheat always a cheat'. In the nicest way possible, you are not an exception. People very rarely change their ways and to avoid disappointment it's always best to just to keep this in mind.

- What's Right For Everyone Else May Not Be Right For You
People blossom at different stages of their life. Just because someone else is doing something it doesn't mean it's right for you. This can be a huge decision like going to university after college or something smaller like whether you drink alcohol. People are different and that's ok.

- Do What Makes You Happy
There may be something you desperately want to do and people may try and talk you out of it but if you want to do something - do it* because if you don't you will probably regret it further down the line! (*providing it causes no harm to you or anyone else) After all what is the worst that can happen?

- Things Take Time
Healing, Success, Knowledge. It all takes time - bear with! Things don't have to happen overnight and that's ok. You can be sad for as long as you need to be and no one became rich and successful overnight. Don't give up just yet.

- Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be! Sometimes you just can't control what happens and you have to go with the flow. You never know where you will be 1 week, month or year from now but try not to fret - everything will work out like it's meant to!

- Don't Over Plan
As I said above - what will be ,will be. What I've learned is that most of the time, things you over plan end up being a huge let down because you have way too many expectations. However, the nights unplanned always end up being the most fun! (in my experience)

- Life Begins At The End Of Your Comfort Zone
Sometimes the best things in your life come from stepping out of your comfort zone. Not only is it that proud feeling because you managed to do it but it's also that amazing experience you had chance to have!

- Show Your Love & Appreciation
Life's too short and you never know what  is going to happen. Show your love and appreciation for the people you care about every day you can because you never know if you're going to be able to tomorrow.

- Everything Happens For A Reason
This is something I just believe in. Things have happened to me and I've not understood why - I've wondered why life could be so cruel but then something else has happened and everything suddenly makes sense. As I said above, things take time and sometimes you just have to trust life.

- Getting Into Debt Is Never Worth It
That new handbag will go out of fashion and the latest piece of tech might break. Saving for things is much more rewarding in the long run. Getting into debt (whether it be a loan, credit card or store card) is never worth the stress and you never know what your situation will be in a few months/years time.

- Never Compare Your Beginning To Someone Else's Middle
Everyone has to start somewhere and people progress at different times. You should never compare your beginning to someone else's middle because it's not healthy or realistic. Give it time.

- Water & Sleep Are Good
They will make you feel better and they'll also improve your skin. Both may seem boring and you may think you have more important things to focus on but trust me on this one. You'll thank me later.

- Those Who Mind Don't Matter
...and those who matter don't mind. You have to be true to yourself. Be true, be honest and just be unapologetically you. Don't change for anyone. The people that don't like this - you don't need them around. The people that matter the most will love you for you.

- High Heels Aren't Worth It
More of a lighthearted one - high heels don't look good if you're walking like Bambi on ice. They're not worth the blisters or the risk of breaking an ankle. Opt for a pair of flats (or flatforms if you require the height) and enjoy your night pain free. Plus is much easier to dance when your feet are firmly on the ground!

- You Are Braver Than You Think
...stronger than you seem. Never underestimate your ability to get through tough times. When the moment arises you will find the strength to pull through. You are brave and strong and you can do this.

- Mum Knows Best
My Mum already told me all of the things I am just fully realising about 5 years ago. At the time, it seems like she's nagging and she just hates everything and everyone but really she just understands because she's seen it all before. She has always pointed out the bad people from the start and always warned me about things before they have happened (both good and bad. That's just how it goes.

- You Have So Much More To Learn
21 is a small number and there are so many more years ahead of you. Make mistakes and learn from them. Be yourself and have fun. Don't take life too seriously. Push your boundaries and learn as much as possible. You got this.












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4 comments

  1. Aw Happy belated birthday! It looks like it was a great day from the photos! :)
    haveyouseenhowshespeaks.blogspot.co.uk

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  2. Happy belated birthday! I hope you had a great day! One thing I've learned at 25 years old is that all of these things in your list are easier said than done! Haha. Even now I still don't ask for help, I still don't get rid of toxic people etc etc. Despite knowing full well that I can, and I should, and I could. But this is a great post and all things that many of us, I'm sure, can relate to (whether we actually do them, or not!) :) x www.aimeeraindropwrites.co.uk x

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  3. I turned 21 a few months back and I feel like I am so different to when I was 18! I'm glad you have learn these things, I've learnt a few more reading this :) www.sophierosee.co.uk

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  4. Oh how I wich I had turned 21 just like you. :D I love your list because it shows the growth you've already experienced in your life. My favorite one is listen to your mom because we all reach this point where we just realize that mom usually was right. I held on to so many toxic people in my life and she always told me not to. Oh well, life is learning process. This is a really good and strong list because you included a lot of things that are so important for character building and to grow as a person. I once put together a list with "20 Things I learned in My 20s" http://haileyjaderyan.com/2014/01/28/20-things-i-learned-in-my-20s/, in case you want to check it out. :)

    xx Hailey - www.haileyjaderyan.com

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