Monday, 22 February 2016

So... I quit my job

This post is possibly one of the hardest posts that I have ever written for my blog but nonetheless I feel as though I should be honest and share it with you regardless. I feel as though out of all my previous posts, this one may be open to criticism and a few digs but I suppose that's how it goes.
Photo Credit: Pinterest

So, if you have read this post you will know that very recently I started a new job. As you will know, if you read my little paragraph about this, I was very happy and excited that I had been chosen from a large number of candidates and that I was getting an opportunity to get back into a career I was trained in. I won't tell you where the job was or what the business is called (obviously) but I will just say it was a Reception job in a school. I am actually trained in Business/Admin/Reception and have worked in this field since 2013 but I have never worked in a school.

Long story short - after only a short time, I was already crying everyday before I set off to work and I spent all evening worrying about the next day. This past week we just had 'half-term' and I spent the whole time either worrying about going back or thinking about what I could do to get out of it. That's why when I was supposed to go back to work today - I called and I quit.

Now I know lot's of people may say that I didn't give it enough chance, that no one enjoys their job or that I'm stupid and I should have just stuck to it. However, I have spent the last 6 or more years trying to build myself back up - to rid myself of anxiety (and occasional depression) and to be happy again. I've battled with everything from my eating to my overall general mental health and I know that to risk putting myself back in that position would be a waste of my time and potentially quite dangerous. Yes, some may say there may have been a potential for me to find my feet, to love the job in fact. However, I know myself and in my state of mind I just know it wasn't for me.

On my 21st Birthday a man who's very important in my life and who has helped me to where I am today told me that 'all that matters in life is if you're happy', he kept saying to me 'as long as you're happy that's all that matters'. To me, this set off alarm bells. I wasn't going to be happy in this job no matter how long I stayed and tried to force myself to love it. Why would it make sense to spend 5/7 days every single week being miserable and then possible my 2 days off feeling the same when I have the option to leave? Life is short. Why waste it?

Thankfully, although not ideal, I am in a situation right now where I can live of my savings for around 6 months if needs be. At this point I'm scared and a little embarrassed - and I probably wouldn't advise it for anyone but on the other hand I'm relieved and I know that at least for this moment, it was the right decision.

Here's to new adventures?




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9 comments

  1. This seems like it was a good decision for you! There's a massive difference between not liking your job and waking up every morning crying because you have to go to work (I've been there!) Your health is a lot more important and it's great you have savings so you could make this decision!

    I really hope your next venture is something you love and enjoy xx

    Holly ∣ Closingwinter

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    1. Thank you Holly. Your comment really means a lot to me!
      That's exactly how I explained it to my mum! There have been jobs in the past I didn't particularly like however I still went everyday with a smile on my face. :)
      I'm trying to stay optimistic and hopefully my decision will pay off in the future!

      Thank you so much again xx

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  2. I'm so proud of you! I can't imagine how scary this must be for you, but you're so right that the most important thing is to do what's best for you and what makes you happy. Nothing is worth allowing your mental health to deteriorate!!

    Wishing you all the best for your future endeavours! But you're obviously very brave and determined so I'm sure you'll go far!

    Kelly // Velvet and Vibranium

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  3. So proud of you for doing what was best for you, the most important thing is that you are happy and well. So brave of you to share this lovely ❤️

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  4. You know what? I think it's a brave move. I'm sure many people have an opinion on this but it's your life and you decide how you want to live it. If what you do doesn't make you happy, it's not the right thing. And trust me, having no job is not the end of the world. I'm looking for one right now and I'm not letting anyone stress me out about it. We all have our reasons for certain things and that's perfectly fine. You should definitely not feel ashamed. :)

    xx Hailey - www.haileyjaderyan.com / www.instagram.com/haileyjaderyan

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  5. At the end of the day you have to do what's best for you and I really applaud you for making such a brave move. I agree with you, spending 5 days somewhere you're not happy and living for a weekend is not the best way to live. Good luck for what the future brings but don't feel embarrassed, you're doing what's right for you.
    xx
    Lizzie | Garland Girl

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  6. I actually think that's the right thing to do. The last job I was in before this one I was bullied and I would spend all evening in tears, feel sick walking into the office. I was eventually signed off sick, and eventually the company let me go, which was the best thing really. And now I'm in a job I genuinely love. But I took 2 years to get into another job, I was very wary knowing if I went back into something that was bad, I'd fall back down the rabbit hole of depression. No one knows you better than yourself, if you feel you did the right thing, then you did. And there's always something just around the corner! Good luck with your next adventure. x www.aimeeraindropwrites.co.uk x

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  7. Sorry to hear it didn't work out darling, but I'm a great believer in everything happens for a reason. I had the same thoughts when I dropped out of uni back in 2013, however now 2 & 1/2 years later I'm back at uni doing something I love with a clear view to what I want to do. Yes I still have my ups and downs (that's anxiety for you). But happiness is everything and everything happens for a reason as cliché as it sounds. If you ever need to talk you know where I am! Lots of love, Maisie xxx

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