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Tuesday, 20 August 2019

5 Things Not to Say to Someone TTC

As I mentioned recently, struggling TTC is making me a not-very-nice person to say the least. I'm irritated easily, I'm very emotional and, well, I'm not much fun anymore. That being said, I don't think I'm being too harsh when I say unsolicited advice from others is far from helpful and does not help the above situation. That's why today I'm going to share with you 5 things you might want to think twice before saying to a couple trying to conceive.

*N.B. As with most of my list posts, this is just a little bit of funny truth. Not aimed at anyone in particular (pretty much everyone we know is guilty of at least one of these) and I am not discouraging people from chatting to us and caring for us. These are just a few things that sting a little when you're already a bit fragile and crazy (which I definitely am).*


'Just don't think about it'
I'm sorry but until you have TTC (and I mean actually TTC, not just gotten pregnant), you will not know how impossible it is to 'just not think about it'. When you physically have to track every stage in your cycle to even be in with a slither of a chance. And! Even if you don't track - the minute your period comes you get a huge reminder that 'just not thinking about it' does absolutely nothing.

'You're only young'
I thoroughly understand and appreciate that we are young and 'touch wood' healthy. I also understand that there will be people much older than me in my position and sadly going through the same (or worse). This however, does not take away from my pain. Nor does it mean we should sit back and watch years go by while my body chooses not to do it's job.

'Enjoy your life before children come'
No words. This is really just not the ideal thing to be saying to someone who wants a family so badly. I understand, children are hard work - they're loud, messy and tiring. However, I'm pretty certain that people so deep into drs appointments and tests are well aware of the decision they have made. Don't make it sound like a curse, especially if you have children already.

'Have you tried...?'
Now this is almost always meant in the nicest possible way however, when you've spent X amount of years trying and have had to resort to tests with a GP, you've pretty much tried everything. I know more about my body than ever before with the help of apps, forums etc etc. We have tried OPKs, vitamins and whatever else google suggests. Thank you but no thank you.

'If it helps...'
Usually finished with 'it took us 6 months', 'my sisters, friends, auntie struggled TTC' or 'I'm sure there's loads they can do'. Usually doesn't help. Unless you actually care, are knowledgeable or even better, are a GP. Please don't try reassure me with things that are not reassuring at all.


Now, I'm not saying avoid people you know who are TTCing at all costs out of fear of upsetting them. If anything, they need to talk more than anything. Just maybe a be a little more gentle. Let them know you are there for them, ask them questions if you are genuinely interested and support them when they need it. Sometimes all we need is a bit of normality when nothing feels normal at all.


Disclaimer: This blog post is in no way sponsored and all opinions and photographs are my own

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