Be Kind. (tw)

Tuesday, February 18, 2020

In a world where you can be anything, be kind.

A quote that is currently circulating under such sad circumstances but so desperately needs to be heard. Unfortunately life can be pretty tough as it is but it can also be made so much harder by others. As many people will already know, Caroline Flack recently ended her life in tragic circumstances. It shouldn’t take such a tragic event to make people talk about this or be given a reality check but it’s also, just a good a time as any to drill it in that it really does pay to be kind. Everyone is fighting a battle that you may know absolutely nothing about and your actions can really effect people in the worst imaginable way.

I have fought anxiety and depression for the longest time and more recently started to express this with OCD tendencies. My anxiety and depression has unfortunately been a pretty much constant in my life since about 2010 in different intensities - to put that in perspective I have just turned 25, meaning since roughly the age of 15 I have dealt with constant worries and intrusive thoughts.
I have had counselling, CBT and anti-depressants but at the end of the day, it’s always there - even if it’s as a little niggling thought hiding in the back of my mind. Some people know this, some people don’t.
In my better days I can put a smile on my face, get up and out and have a laugh and a joke. In harder times, as hard and horrible as it is to say - I've found myself not wanting to be here. Many a time have I cried my heart out and just wanted to give up everything. In a better and more reasonable frame of mind, I can’t imagine how hard it must be as a mother or a husband, hearing someone you love so much tell you they just want to die. It breaks my heart to think about it but unfortunately it is a harsh reality and it shows just how much someone really can hide inside. When I have opened up to people in the past I have been told that I hide it well - which when you think about it, is really quite scary. In a crazy way I’m quite lucky, I have people that I can open up to and I know I’d have people I can call in a shot if I’m in dark times but not everyone has that security blanket. I have made it through all of those 'hardest times' (some too many years ago to pin point and others within the last 12 months) but too many don't get the extra chances to try and turn their life around.

With that being said, it doesn't matter whether you know someone has depression or not, it is so detrimental to (as we were all told as kids) basically, not speak unless you have something nice to say - in person or on the internet. As extreme as it may sound - you just don’t know if your words are going to top off someone’s hard times and put them in a situation where they think they have no other option - or worse, where they don’t think at all. We don't know what is going on in peoples lives 24/7, behind closed doors and in their own mind. Being shitty to someone could literally tip them over the edge. I know from experience that when you're already in a bad place, the smallest of digs, arguments or upsets can feel like an absolute finisher - something that in easier times can be shrugged off with a 'that's a bit shitty' can pile on top of your boat load of troubles and make you wonder 'what's the point?'.

Basically, take care of your friends and family, ask them how they are every now and then, will them to talk - just as much as you should open up should you find yourself in hard times too. If you don't have friends or family you feel you can do that with, choose someone else - a dr, a helpline, anyone. Just don't suffer in silence and let it be too late. Think before you speak and if you really have to, ask yourself if you'd appreciate someone saying what you're about to, to your child, mum or granny.

If the world had been a little nicer we may not be having to speak about another celebrity that found she had no other option. Let's try not let another tragic event be forgotten in a matter of moments.

Just Be Kind. x

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(Please note: For any worriers, I am safe and well loved and cared for at all times. However, I do feel it is so important to talk about these things)


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